


Crazy in love, or just crazy in general?

by fictionisthebetterreality



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anger Management, Anorexia, Anxiety Disorder, Bulimia, Depression, Drug Addiction, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:05:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4142259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionisthebetterreality/pseuds/fictionisthebetterreality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jean finally got out of Rehab, he swore that would be the last time he ever set foot in the place again. Unfortunately, life has other plans and within three months he's back in. Even more unfortunately for him, Marco Bodt is still a full time resident, and even after breaking up with him shortly before leaving the first time, Jean's having a real hard time denying the connection between them. What will happen when they are forced to live under the same roof once again?</p><p>A story where Jean has a drug addiction, Marco obsesses over his figure to the point of starvation, Christa can't help but throw up every time she eats more than an apple, Ymir is an alcoholic, Eren needs anger management, Armin is a nervous wreck, Mikasa has severe separation anxiety every time she can't see Eren, Reiner has trouble with empathy, Bertolt is the definition of social anxiety and Annie spends her days depressed. Add in a little romance and things start getting complicated for everyone involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Guess who's back, back again....

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy so thanks for deciding to give this a shot! Hopefully it'll be okay, I don't really do mulit-chapter fics that often so I'll be relying on your support to keep me going! Kudos, Bookmark, Comment, whatever just let me know what you think!

Jean shivers, curling up into a ball – an attempt at keeping in the near non-existent warmth his body has. Despite this, sweat drips down from his forehead, soaking into his clothes, into the sheets beneath his body. His teeth clench, if only to prevent them from chattering and making his god-awful headache that much worse.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been here, can only vaguely recall arriving, being ushered past the front desk, already suffering the brutal effects of with-drawl on his body, although no-where near as bad as it is now. He shudders, pressing his knees to his chest more firmly, cursing everything and anything at his damn inability to ‘keep your head down, stay in school, and whatever you do, don’t relapse’. The mantra had been in his head since day one, despite his failure to follow it.

Day one being the first day of freedom. As free as weekly appointments with Dr. Pixis and a curfew at nine o’clock (like a damn fifteen-year-old) and the constant, nagging “Jean, be safe, don’t be reckless” which was just another way of saying “Don’t screw up again”, could be.

It sounded easy. And it was, at first. Start university (a year later than planned, but that could hardly be helped) keep on track, hand in assignments, maybe go out with a few guys from his course if he was feeling brave and the insistent itch under his skin wasn’t too bad. But. After a few weeks, he let himself get relaxed, let his guard down, let his mind wander, his feet taking him on an automatic course through the dark streets on his way home. Following an invisible path that he hadn’t paid attention to in the slightest, not until he rounded a corner and saw the familiar street, with the familiar apartment block with its crumbling bricks and flickering lights. He hadn’t meant to go there, honest he hadn’t. But there was something about the old den, something that called to him, that lit his blood on fire and made the itch he almost hadn’t notice impossible to ignore. He’d been strong, the first time. Stopped, turned right back around, and marched himself home, only five-minutes late (Although you would’ve thought it was five-hours with the tongue-lashing he received). The second time too, and the time after that. In all honesty, Jean couldn’t be sure what number it was when he found himself standing in that same street, looking at that same building. Just like he couldn’t really be sure he had no part in the path his feet took, that he wasn’t intending to be there. But there he was, climbing the stairs, thinking _Just a look, just a chat to an old friend, there’s no need to be worried_ , and almost believing it himself.

_Skimming the sticky banister lightly with his fingers as he passed, he bounded up the third flight of stairs before pushing open the door with the big 3 on it, getting a strange but almost comforting sense of Deja-Vu as he walked down the hallway and knocked a quick but simple rhythm on the flimsy door. Just a chat, he reminded himself. Nothing more. The door opened, only part way but then wider as the person on the other side gave a sound of surprise and revealed themselves._

_“Jean!” the man exclaimed, as he pulled him into a hug, clapping him roughly on the back before letting go. “Hey Mike” Jean replied easily, grinning. “Where the hell have you been, you about disappeared of the face of the planet!” Mike, a late-twenty early-thirty-year-old with dirty blond hair and a rugged look that Jean could never tell was on purpose or not smiled, and Jean scoffed at the question. “Like you don’t already know, you probably knew where I was headed before I even did.” It was a well-known fact that the man standing in front of him had a network of people who gave him all the information he could want, in return for a little something which had ended Jean locked up in a Rehab institute for the last eight months._

_Grinning unapologetically, Mike shrugged. “Yeah man, couldn’t believe it, you were one of my best customers! Business’s gone way downhill since you left”. Jean shifts slightly, the first twinge in his stomach making him pull a face. “I know man, but shit happens. Just gotta get on with life. Listen, just wanted to show my face, say hi to few people, that’s it.” Jean looks around warily, still somehow managing to trick himself into believing that that is the truth. Mike gives him a look that is far too knowing, but doesn’t push it further, just nods. They say goodbye, and Jean goes back to his life of university and exams and nine-oclock-curfew._

Jean really wishes he could add an “and didn’t look back” onto the end of that flashback, but regrettably, it’s the small fact that he can’t that explains his current situation. Curled up, suffering severe with-drawl symptoms, in this cold (although that could be the with-drawl) unfriendly room, smack in the middle of Rehab. He groans aloud, accepting the fact that he’s in for a long night, and a longer stay.

 

* * *

 

“Hey- psst! – did’ja hear? Apparently Jean’s back!” the statement leads to varying changes in expression, from a slightly exaggerated grimace, to a more over the top grin, to no change at all. “Aw damn it, really?” Eren whines, the owner of the grimace, dropping his head back to rest on the back of the sofa he’s currently slouched in. “That damn horse-face is gonna ruin all my progress, I was just thinkin’ about askin’ for my mom to come visit after my ban finally gets lifted next week!”. The girl next to him, a raven-haired, Asian girl with a red scarf wrapped around her neck, titters. “You act like its already a done deal that something’s going to happen” she says, eyeing Eren mistrustfully. The guy sitting across from them in a battered armchair snorts, leaning forward. “Probably cause it is. You know how well they get along, Mikasa, what with Eren’s _amazing_ ability to hold his temper” the sarcasm is thick, and the Eren lifts his head, a sharp retort already on the tip of his tongue and anger flickering to life in his eyes before Mikasa thumps him on the head with her fist. “Ow Mikasa, what the hell?” Eren grumbles, albeit at a lower risk of starting an argument he has no hope of winning. “Shut it Reiner, it’s too early in the day for you two to start. Eren, how’re you going to get visitation rights if you can’t prove that you can go three seconds without launching into an argument?” Mikasa reprimands them, worried eyes already scanning Eren’s face. He huffs, but relaxes back into the sofa, rolling his eyes.

“Never mind Eren’s stupid visitation shit, is it really true that Jean’s back?” The speaker is a tall, dark girl with a smattering of freckles, sprawled on a beanbag to the side of Reiner. Ymir cackles, rubbing her hands together with childlike glee, and an evil glint in her eye. “I’ll finally have a buddy during Dot’s god-awful sermons on how life is all about restraint and acceptance, yadda yadda yadda” she grins, enthusiasm not tempered by the scornful look sent her way by Christa, who is sitting perched on a table, legs kicking the air slowly. “I thought you said you agreed with what he says” she scolds in a high, lilting voice, frowning at her rebellious girlfriend. “Babe, just cause I sit through them don’t mean I agree with ‘em” Ymir says with an eye roll, copying Eren’s grimace from earlier.

“It’s true” Annie speaks up from where she sits sideways in an armchair, hands playing with the ring on her finger. “I heard Petra and Gunther talking about it yesterday. Couldn’t really make it out properly but ‘Kirschtein’ was definitely in there, and about how he’s been moved to 4B”. Connie, the original speaker, sits up straight at this, his eyes widening. “But that’s like down the hall from us! Is he there now do you think?” as usual, he talks a mile a minute, but by now everyone has grown used to it enough to be able to understand him with ease. Sasha mirrors his posture next to him, face lighting up. “We could go see him now! Come on guys, let’s go see him!” The two stand, almost vibrating with excitement.

“Oh! But are you sure? I mean, we might not be allowed, I mean, they would have said something yesterday if we were supposed to see him, right? I mean….” Armin pipes up nervously from where he sits next to Eren, feet drawn up and arms wrapped around his legs, tightening his grip without realising in response to the threat of trouble. Connie rolls his eyes and draws out his name. “Armin, you’ve got to stop livin’ life so scared, it’s only a little peek, no harm done. Eren, come on! Help a guy out?” As Sasha turns to him with puppy-dog eyes, Eren groans. “If I say no, are you guys gonna leave me alone for the foreseeable future?” As they shake their heads vigorously, he sighs, before grinning slightly and giving away his eagerness. “Fine, why the hell not. Haven’t seen that bastard in a while anyways, could do with a good catch up”. It doesn’t take someone of Armin’s intelligence to sense that the meaning of ‘a good catch up’ with Eren is ‘drag his ass out of bed and beat him into consciousness. “Eren-“ Mikasa starts, but he Connie and Sasha are already on the move. She frowns slightly before standing and following them, loathe to leave Eren alone for even the briefest of times. Armin lets out a sharp whine, but doesn’t move, following their progress over the back of the sofa.

Reiner stands, closely followed by Ymir, and they join the wake-up-Jean party, leaving Armin, Christa, Annie and Bertolt sitting in a comfortable silence, all wondering what would happen once the well-known anti-morning person that was Jean Kirschtein was woken up. “Say, I wonder if Marco knows then” Armin ponders, looking at his friends. “He’s still in bed isn’t he?” Krista replies, looking around as if expecting him to pop up from behind a piece of furniture. “Must be, and so’s Levi I guess” Annie says, looking to Bertolt for confirmation. He blushes, before stuttering “O-oh, yeah he- uh, he was still asleep when I-I came out”. She sighs. “Just when I thought things were getting peaceful”. It sounds like she’s talking to herself, so no one replies, lapsing back into the comfortable silence that they had before.

* * *

 

“C’mon, quick, before one of the nurses sees!” Sasha giggles and trots along with Connie, turning into the hallway that houses the boys shared bedrooms. They pass the first three that belong to Eren and Marco, Levi and Bertolt, and Connie and Reiner, but just as the group passes the last, a voice calls from the end of the hallway, and all five cringe before turning. “Where, pray tell, do you think you’re all going?” Petra stands at the junction, dressed in her smart white uniform, hands on her hips and an expression promising pain to anyone who back-chats.

“Oh great, we had to get her, and not Mina” Ymir whispers under her breath, but not as quietly as she thought, because Petra’s expression changes, and she walks forward, Ymir seemingly wilting under her gaze. “Nurse Mina” Petra emphasises the ‘nurse’ “is already in trouble for last week’s debacle involving you and miss Reiss, and if I remember correctly,” she continues, and now she aims her scorn at Sasha, who unsuccessfully attempts to hide behind Connie, who moves and Mikasa, who doesn’t flinch, “this is the boys ward, so care to explain to me why there are three girls here?” Sasha, under pressure, can’t think of a good enough excuse and Mikasa simply tugs at her scarf and shoots a look at Eren, before they are inadvertently saved when Connie blurts “But we just wanted to see Jean! We heard he was back and… well….” He trails off, realising that anything else he says will only place them in more trouble.

Petra purses her lips. “Jean Kirschtein is resting, and is not to be disturbed until he feels up to coming out by himself. Not” she says sharply, glaring at each of them in turn “when you decide to take it upon yourselves to become his own personal alarm clock. Now get yourselves to breakfast or you’ll miss it.” She finished the sentence in a slightly gentler tone, making shooing motions with her hands, as they scuttle back to where they came from. She watches them go with an expression made up of both frustration and fondness, smiling slightly at their retreating backs.

“I’m tellin’ ya, if it’d been Mina we could’ve gotten in for sure” Ymir mutters as they slink back. Eren laughs as Connie punches him softly on the shoulder, earning a glance from Mikasa, and calls him out for not helping with Petra. “Oh no you don’t, I wasn’t even gonna come until you two forced me, it’s your own damn fault”. Reiner stretches as they walk, arms above his head and joints cracking. “She always goes so damn posh when she’s mad, it’s kinda cute”. Sasha grins at him. “Got yourself a crush there Reiner?” she jokes, knowing full well Reiner’s sexual preferences and laughing when he says as much.

As they enter the dining hall, they see the others already sat down with varying amounts of food and coffee, this time with both Levi and Marco present. They sit down, and Eren wrinkles his nose at their questioning gazes, admitting to getting caught. “I knew you would” Armin sighs, before taking a drink of orange juice. Marco erupts into a jaw-cracking yawn, just barley covering his mouth with his hand before blinking slowly and looking at Armin. “What’s this?” he asks, frowning, still not quite awake even after drinking half a cup of coffee already. Armin quickly explains as everyone goes about getting food and chatting, and Marco gasps slightly. “He’s back? Why?” Eren rolls his eyes at this, taking a bite out of his toast before replying “Well I’m guessing he didn’t exactly stick to the rules when he got out” he says sarcastically, choking slightly when Mikasa thumps him on the head and reprimands him for talking with his mouth full.

Marco frowns and pushes the food around on his plate – food which he has no intention of even eating anyway, it’s more for show than anything else. “Damn kid must be in a pretty bad way if he’s not allowed visitors” Levi drawls from his place at the end of the table, next to Christa. Everyone goes quiet at that, thinking it over. “That’s true” Armin says finally, shooting a look at Marco as he does so, whose brow is furrowed at this new information. “Yeah, but still, I’m sure he’s fine, I mean, he can’t be really bad or he’d be in hospital, I mean he’s here so I’m sure he’ll be out in no time!” he hurriedly presses onwards, seeing Marcos worry. Various agreements and affirmatives come from the rest of the group, but it still isn’t enough to completely get rid of the little line between Marco’s brows as he wonders about the state Jean is in, and what he did to end up back in rehab with them all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Eren have a fight, Hanji gets put in the dog house, and still no Marco - don't kill me!

It’s two days after the unsuccessful break-in attempt when Jean shows his face for the first time since coming back. The rest of the patients – jokingly called inmates amongst themselves- are scattered in the rec room, a dismal room with peeling paint and dirty furniture, containing an old TV which has exactly five channels, a table that was used for ping pong until a certain incident between two hot headed men caused all bats and balls to be confiscated, and a bookcase with a collection of dog-eared books that have probably only been read by Armin, in Jeans opinion.

  
Connie and Sasha are in the middle of a heated debate about some food or other, with the rest, barring Marco, who is in a private counselling session, and Mikasa, who is spending time apart from Eren as part of her therapy, scattered around the room listening in with various levels of amusement.  
As soon as Jean walks in, the room falls into quiet. He doesn’t say anything, just falls into a bean bag and closes his head as he tilts his head back, namely due to the headache he still hasn’t managed to shake and the slight feeling of nausea that causes his stomach to churn unpleasantly at the smallest movement, not that there’s anything to throw up after four days surviving on crackers and water.

  
He can feel the stares, and hopes the clear expression of leave-me-alone on his face, not to mention the fact he looks like shit, will deter them from making conversation. Why he thought this, knowing the people in the room, he can’t decide. Unsurprisingly, Connie is the first up, bounding across the room to stand over Jean, talking a mile a minute.  
“Jean, bro! Can’t believe you’re back, I mean, I can believe it, but it’s just so weird, y’know, like you were out, man, you were a free dude!” Jean cracked his eyes open, his frown deepening as the light assaulted his head. “Connie” he said flatly “If I wanted to talk, I would’ve come over and talked to you.” A low whistle sounded from across the room. “Damn Kirschtein, what crawled up your ass and died?” Jean sat up straighter, as much as he could on a bean bag, and glared at Eren. Before he could reply, Eren’s grin widened, a nasty glint in his eyes. “Oh wait, I forgot, you’re probably still suffering-“ this was said with as much sarcasm as was humanly possible “from screwing up your life. Again.” Jean’s eyes flashed but he stayed seated, replying with fake casualness.

  
“Aw, Eren” He used the first name to get a rise, and while there was no dramatic change, he noticed with some satisfaction the others hands had balled up into fists. “It’s good to see you too. I mean, it’s not like you would be anywhere else right? Still having Mikasa deal with all your problems? Tell me, have the doctors given up completely on you yet, or are they still feeding you bullshit about you getting better?”

  
Eren sucked in a sharp breath and stood. The atmosphere in the room was dense, and it seemed everyone was holding their breath. Connie was pulled out of the way by Sasha, who sat him down next to her and watched with bated breath. There was a pregnant pause, almost, and after a moment Armin realised this was usually the time Mikasa would say something, or, more likely, hit Eren, and diffuse the situation, and the realisation she wasn’t here to do so caused his already unsettled stomach to start doing backflips. “Uh, guys” he squeaked, too scared to physically stop Eren from standing, the threat of violence clear in his eyes. “It’s alright Armin,” Eren said flatly. “Obviously someone’s forgotten what happened the last time he got in a fight with me.”

  
Jean rolled his eyes, but stood, his stance betraying the relaxed tone of his voice. “What, you mean the time your big sister came rushing to your rescue? Damn, Jaeger, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’ve finally stopped pulling everyone down when you have a problem. Look at you, ready to go with back up no where in sight.”  
“I don’t need backup for the likes of you” Eren snarled, his temper finally snapping as he stormed towards Jean, who tensed and braced himself, itching for a bit of physical violence. The past few days had been his own personal hell, and he’d be damned if he didn’t let himself take it out on this damn bastard who found every which was to get under his skin. Armin gasped and clutched the sofa, his knuckles turning white. Reiner grinned, while Levi continued to read the magazine in his hands after a curious glance. Ymir rolled her eyes, content to stay seated with Christa, who wore a worried expression. Bertholt winced and looked away, and Annie’s expression remained fixed in its permanent bored position.

  
“-telling you, you should have told me before letting him out of his room! How long has he been out?” the small red-headed nurse chastised Hanji, as they walked at considerable speed toward the rec room. Hanji simply shrugged, although her trade mark grin was still present. “Maybe ten minutes? C’mon Petra, I know they’re both hot heads, but Eren’s been doing so well and what with the state Jeans in, I really … doubt…” she trailed off as they neared the doors leading to the room, where the unmistakable sounds of a fight were emanating from. Hanji slowed as Petra burst into a run, shooting a filthy look over her shoulder as she did so, causing a shiver to run up Hanji’s back. Petra was an easy-going, caring person most of the time, but when she got mad… Hanji would have made a discreet exit right then, planning on hiding for the foreseeable future, but Petra really was small, and if Jean and Eren were too fixated on fighting to pay attention to anyone else… she reluctantly trailed after Petra, who had already burst into the room.  
Jean grunted as he held Eren in a headlock, from which the brunette was struggling, namely punching and kicking every bit of Jean he could reach. He succeeded in stomping his foot down onto Jeans, who let go with a curse. Eren whirled around, and the two stood apart for a split second, before Eren lunged forwards, his fist raised. At the same time, Jean heard a strict “Boys!” coming from behind him, which distracted him long enough for Eren’s fist to collide with his nose. He lurched back with a howl, clutching his injury and feeling blood running out and trickling over his hands and face. His eyes had closed automatically and he forced them open, expecting Eren to be back on the attack. He hadn’t made a hobby out of provoking Eren the last time he was here, but he knew all the signs for when Eren really lost his head. He hadn’t been quite there, but it had been close, so Jean was surprised when he spotted him keeping his distance. The reason became clear a moment later, when he looked down slightly. Petra was standing in front of him, keeping her arms outstretched as she tried to calm Eren. A moment later he spotted Hanji, who produced a crumpled tissue from one of her many pockets and handed it to him. He took it gratefully and pressed it to his nose, which was beginning to throb. He was pretty sure it wasn’t broken, having dealt with that before. From here, Eren looked like some sort of bull, breathing heavily and jittering in place.

  
Once he had visibly calmed and relaxed, Petra wasted no time in marching up to him and grabbing his ear, pinching it painfully, if Eren’s yell was anything to go by. She forced him to bend down, and proceeded to smack him over the head. Repeatedly. “Ow, ow, Petra – what the hell, stop!” His protests continued to go ignored, much to Jeans glee. He heard a giggle, and looked to see Hanji observing with a manic smile. “That’s my girl” she said, although Jean wasn’t entirely sure if it was aimed at him. He blinked and sighed. Eren’s temper wasn’t the only thing that hadn’t changed around here it would seem, if Hanji’s love stuck eyes were anything to go by.

  
Unfortunately for Jean, becoming distracted by Hanji meant he hadn’t noticed Petra leave Eren, and walk over to him. He saw something out the corner out of his eye and turned to see the full force of Petra’s anger hit him. He raised his hand – the one that wasn’t holding a bloody tissue to his nose- and attempted to back away, but Petra’s hand shot out and he was subjected the same treatment as Eren. “-Petra, ow, I’m sorry, I- hey I’m not well!” he said in a last ditch attempt to get her to stop. All it got him was another whack over the head, but eventually she let up.

  
“I cannot believe you two!” she exclaimed, turning to look at them both. “Being ill is no excuse Jean, especially when you are ill due to with-drawl!” she wasted no time in naming and shaming, and he winced. Not that everybody there didn’t already know, but it had been an unspoken thing. “And you, Eren, you were doing so well, we were considering lifting your ban this weekend, but now that will have to be reviewed!” Eren’s face paled. Somehow Petra always managed to make you feel guilty for letting her down, as though she were your mother. Usually Jean didn’t mind, but when he was suffering a bruised nose on top of his head ache and nausea, he was pretty annoyed at the whole situation. Although now he looked closely, he could see one of Eren’s eyes was getting pretty puffy, and his lip had a nasty cut in it.

  
“Hanji!” said woman jumped slightly as her name was called, and turned the puppy eyes on in an attempt to get her angry girlfriend to reconsider skinning her alive. “Don’t you do that, you are in serious trouble! For now, take Eren to get cleaned up while I take Jean to see Erwin.” Jean winced. Erwin was one of the counsellors, and had been in charge of Jean last time he was here. He really didn’t want to sit through an hour lecture on why he had let everyone down. Not that Erwin would do that, he was pretty cool overall, but that would be what Jean would hear. Hanji sloped away with Eren, looking more like the nurse her girlfriend was, not the counsellor she was. Petra turned to Jean, and he cringed slightly. For all her annoyance, she took Jeans arm gently, and tugged him towards the doors. “Right, well you need cleaning up as well, so I suppose we should see to that before you see anyone.” Jean obediently followed her down the corridors, thinking, no place like home.


End file.
